There have been lots of books written about changing behaviors like avoiding procrastination, having good relationships, eating less food but in almost all cases, these won’t work. These won’t work because the behaviors are like stems in a tree, if you cut down a stem, they will come back again after some time. Instead we have to attack the root. We humans behave differently and see the world differently by the stories we deeply believe in.  In other words, if you examine the story (root) and change it, the behaviors shifts effortlessly.

Here are a few examples

Parent-children Relationship Stories

If a parent believes the story “that kids cannot be trusted fully and will never listen to us”. Right from a young age, when the parent says something and the kids don’t listen, they shout and make sure the kids listen to them.  When the kids go to school, there will always be clashes. These clashes will continue through out the parent’s entire life till the parent moves on to the next world.

What if the parent looks at his story and says… Let me change it. Let me believe that “Kids can be trusted, if I am trustworthy to them”.  Now the scene shifts and s/he will always be open with them and s/he will make sure that the kids can trust him always with anything, now the whole 50-60 years of the parent’s life will be very rewarding.  I have personally seen examples of both kinds of parents and I am sure you have seen too. The only simple difference is both strongly believed in a story.

Entrepreneur Stories

Richard Branson and Warren buffett believed the story that “life and business should be fun” and so, they choose a profession which they loved. Steve Jobs deeply believes in Zen philosophy which shows up in all of apple’s products (simplicity).

Our life is completely governed by the stories we deeply believe. Most of the times we never know that these stories dictate our life i.e. they are hidden to us like a blind spot while driving.

So, how do we recognize our stories, whenever we are frustrated or things don’t go the way we want, we can stop and say, this is not working the way I want “because”. Whatever comes after the “because” is the story we choose to believe.

We can choose to believe in a different story.

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Do you believe that you can determine your destiny? A lot hangs in the balance of how you answer that question.

Destiny is a word often associated with fate and inevitability. Destiny is how you face up to that which you cannot control. But it is also your destination, the place where you are destined to go. It is both your lot and your luck,  but how it works out in the end depends on your attitude and focus.

In this series, we have compared the Mandala Chart to a lens. Flexible focus is not just for clarity and perspective, it also applies to concentration and action. A magnifying glass can concentrate sunlight into heat and burn a hole through paper. The Mandala Chart is like a lens that can focus your mental energy to get results.

In fact, it can add a new dimension to the Law of Attraction, one which is practical and action-oriented. Start small to gain focus in getting things done, meeting a deadline, or start a new project. Determining your destiny need not begin on a grand scale. Though your destination might be far away, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Whereas wishful thinking is aversive to action, flexible focus enables you to reach out through the mist and make use of all of the resources you have at hand.

We are far from having explored the limits of the possible. The history of human experience has shown time and again that when the mind can visualize it can materialize. The important thing is to give shape to your thoughts. Write them down, sketch them out, speak your dreams and make them happen.

The attitude for this is known in Japanese as kokorozashi (志),  literally the soul (心) of the samurai (士), and all that it implies in terms of courage, calling, and conviction. The biggest thing that stands between you and your destiny is not something outside of you, but the fear, uncertainty, and doubt in your own mind which saps your energy (迷), literally the loss (辶) of energy (米).

Regardless of how many reasons or resources you have, if you lack the energy to determine your destiny, then everything will come to nothing. Energy is the great multiplier, and the real measure of your strength. You cannot have enough of it. If you have a surplus, then share the wealth. It is one of the good things in life that is contagious.

If your energy is low, there are a number of things you can do to increase it.

• Motivate yourself with music. It keeps your attention, tells a story, taps into memories and emotions, and is ever enjoyable. Here are some great resources you can access online to get you started.
  • Make it Happen, by Mariah Carey (lyrics and video): Mariah moves Madison Square Garden, and she can move you. Read the lyrics too.
  • 40 Motivational Songs for Goal Setting: Incredible playlist of music videos by artists who have rocked the world. Watch them all.
  • Runner’s World’s Music for Motivation Playlists for Runners: Playlists of top world runners which you can download from iTunes. Give them a run.
  • Tap videos from my own favorites at http://blip.fm/willreed: Top artists of Tap will get you grounded and ready in rhythm. Put energy and finesse in your footwork.
• Get your body moving. Once you get on your feet, whether you choose to walk or run, you can gain inspiration from the marathon. The change of pace and environment, the fresh air and sunshine, the sheer momentum of moving your feet will generate enough energy to put the process in motion.
• Eat properly. Food is your basic fuel, providing your body with the ingredients it needs to stay alive and healthy. But eating too much of the wrong kinds of food can not only sap your strength, over time it can kill you. Food can make or break you. Get the facts, find what works best for you, and eat properly.
• Get coaching. Sometimes we need a catalyst to get moving. Whether you are looking for clarity, focus, or motivation, the right coach can be a key partner in your success. Personal chemistry is critical in choosing a coach, but first inform yourself of the many options and approaches, and select the one that fits you best.
• Put life in perspective. When you lack perspective then all of the reasons why turn into reasons why not to take action. Procrastination is the thief of time. After getting the broader picture it is easier to return to the field with conviction on the most important question of all, Why are you here?
• Declare your commitment. The desire for internal consistency is very powerful. No one likes to lie to themselves. If you have a sincere commitment, then declare it to others and watch how this puts positive pressure on you to keep your word. Don’t take your promises lightly, or you may stop believing in them yourself.
• Read for inspiration. Well-selected reading gives you access to a vast library of ideas and approaches that can fire your imagination with inspiration. Read for emotional and practical motivation, for new ideas, and for pleasure. Whether you read books and articles, or dip into the digital world, make sure that your environment supports a pleasurable reading experience. This will encourage you to come back for more.
• Get traction through action. The most powerful and persuasive factor in determining your destiny is taking action. When your actions are in alignment with your destiny, then you carry the torch which will light your way.

Eight ways to increase your energy and determine your destiny. Consider them in combination by downloading the PDF file Mandala Chart DETERMINE YOUR DESTINY.

From the lyrics to the song by R. Kelley, I Believe I can Fly

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

Recently, I received a newsletter from WebGuild and they had an article: Facebook Activity Correlate To Low Self-Esteem & Narcissism. It says According to a new study by Dr. Soraya Mehdizadeh of York University in Toronto, greater online activity on Facebook is correlated with low self-esteem and narcissism… OR is it just another one of those criticisms that Wright Brothers had to face when they crash-landed on their first flight to realize their dream for man to fly. Of course! there was media broadcasters there, too, who might have found it funny and ridiculed their efforts.

And really do we have to do research on people’s self-esteem because there is a self that comes in the word “self-esteem” which means that it is based on one’s own view of oneself. Self-respect is one’s own personal choice and it comes from the self and self alone.

If updating your own FB page is low self-esteem, then does that mean that the news reporters who come on TV everyday with stories of doom and gloom are negative and depressed?

OR

If you raised money for your philanthropic efforts through FB, then does that mean that your organization has a low self-esteem?

Here is why I think we need to focus more on the positive:

1. Self in self-respect: Don’t allow others’ opinions to be more important than your own opinion of yourself. I post positive quotes from leaders on my FB pg frequently, it is just my way of sharing a piece of information I found that might be valuable for someone. Now, when I stopped, some folks wrote to me to start again. They found it like a morning boost and derived motivation from it. Needless to say, there is no dearth of people, who make fun of this habit of mine. The question is that I really feel that I am sharing with my friends a pearl of wisdom with a “quote”. So, why would I let some naysayers deter me? This makes me wonder that some of most frequent posters on FB like Oprah, Barack Obama might have low self-esteem!
2. Call to Action from your community: There is something amazing about being in a lunch meeting and just posting a question on FB page. Most recently, I was planning a trip to Europe. On a dinner at my place, a friend commented, “If you are in Prague, visit Berlin”. And then in a following conversation someone said, “You might want to check out Vienna instead”. And since I have never been to Berlin or Vienna, I left it to my community of FB friends when I posted “Need help deciding global trotters: Prague to Berlin OR Prague to Vienna?”. Within a few hours, I had recommendations from friends who had gone to these places. In fact, I would have never known that they have traveled to these places if not for their response to my question.

Consider numerous inventions that we take for granted today: airplanes, electric lights, television, telephone, computers – they were inventions of individuals who ignored the ridicule and stayed focused on their creativity and positive possibility of realization of their efforts on mankind. I believe that when you have a gloomy picture of what the world looks like, you’re unreceptive to the potential assistance of technological inventions. Why would others want to come to your aid, help you in your philanthropic efforts, vote you to become President of a country or FB when you view them as narcissistic?

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Of the core competencies, the capstone trait for a leader is the ability to negotiate. Humility, courage, and competency, traits listed in the immediately previous blogs, all come together to support this capstone trait. This is no simple task!

An Emperor’s View

The Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, reigning from 161 – 180 A.D, stated the task well in the opening to Chapter 2 of his Meditations.

Begin the morning by saying to thyself; I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial… (For we) participate in the same intelligence and the same portion of the divinity…(and) we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature; and it is (in) acting against one another…(we become) vexed and… turn away.

That’s easy for him to say! He’s never had a room full of people in a meeting looking down as if they are praying when they actually are taking an electronic hit from their Crackberry with the same desperation of an addict with a crystal meth pipe. (Actually, he had his own problems with people being preoccupied while the Empire was starting to crumble. I just needed to vent regarding one of my personal annoyances when working to hold a team together over whom I lack direct authority.)

Aurelius goes on to explain why finding common ground is so important.

Remember how long thou hast been putting off these things, and how often thou hast received an opportunity from the gods, and yet dost not use it. Thou must now at last perceive of what universe thou art a part, and of what administrator of the universe thy existence is an efflux, and that a limit of time is fixed for thee, which if thou dost not use for clearing away the clouds from thy mind, it will go and thou wilt go, and it will never return.

“Think!” is the short version of what Aurelius is saying. “What do you believe? What’s the goal? What principles are at play? What technologies are needed?” is a slightly longer version.

Negotiations

What is needed is the creation of a link between what motivates people and the goals the leader must achieve. Aurelius understood a rallying point was needed; something each stakeholder wants before everything else.  Creating an opportunity for stakeholders to gain what is burning inside them is what leads to proactive behavior. When the flow of all this is right it leads to distributed decision making and powerful group wisdom.

The Challenge

Here’s the trick, or should I say, the challenge. Aurelius knew he had only so many hours in the day. He also knew expecting people to change is a waste of time. The challenge was creating a common bond knowing different people want different things. Some want to work on a bleeding-edge project, others want money, still others want as much personal time as possible, and it goes on and on. Like Aurelius who worked to hold the Empire together, leaders must spend their time getting to know the wants and desires of key stakeholders and creating the aforementioned link. But the leader must be careful. Without a personal anchor, s/he can be pulled in a thousand directions. This is why humility, courage, and competency are “must-haves” for successful negotiations

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the age of ever-cooler technology. It was the age of ever-increasing spending on IT infrastructure.  It was that time of the year – the season to present our annual IT budget, with company leadership insisting on it being received, for good or evil.

After completing my fair share of budgets over the past several years, I admit there have been more than a handful of times where the budgeting process was comparable to a dark Charles Dickens novel.  The budget would be “packaged” and presented for executive approval as expected, but only after months of planning, reviewing, justifying, and negotiating savings opportunities.

How the IT budget is presented is the key to bypassing those “worst of times” and being able to confidently steer your organization to the best of times.  This may sound relatively straightforward but let’s face it – IT and finance organizations are not known for their marketing or communication skills; it’s just not in the DNA of either group.  So then, how do you take your technology budget, containing a multitude of services, from network to datacenter operations and from it, develop a sound IT operations plan and budget which the business understands?

It’s the tale of two budgets……

The solution is providing clarity and transparency, translating the ongoing costs of previously approved investments and providing options.  Focusing on these three areas will result in the view that your IT organization is a high-performing business partner and not just another allocation to the business for which there is little or no control.

First, focus on explaining your budget in a manner which does not require an IT decoder ring for the non-technical folks.  One of the qualities that I consistently see in high-performing IT executives is the ability to translate technology and corresponding costs into the business drivers of your organization.  Keep your presentation in tune with the corporate strategy and growth drivers. The easiest way to break your costs down and translate into business drivers is to identify the product portfolios you support.  For example, if you’re a pharmacy operator, identify how much of your IT infrastructure is required to support  traditional brick and mortar pharmacy services versus online pharmacy services.  Furthermore, if on-line pharmacy services is experiencing rapid growth and has become the cash cow be sure to explain the impact on the information technology cost structure. Next, translate how online services, supported by IT have improved the customer experience (and possibly lowered transaction costs).  The success of your presentation will be measured not just by gaining budget approval, but on your ability to provide transparency into your cost drivers.  If you’re really on top of your game, you can even show how segments of your IT shop (like online pharmacy services) are actually profit centers.

Second, you can further enhance your reputation as a trusted business partner by identifying the ongoing impact of approved investments that reside in your budget.  These investments are likely projects that were approved and implemented in prior years and now are part of the infrastructure, which require ongoing support and maintenance.  Having a previously-established governance process is necessary in order for this conversation to be effective in your presentation.  I once worked with a CIO who consistently reminded his organization there was no such activity that was referred to as an “IT Project.”  All projects within the IT organization either supported, enhanced, or created new services which were understood by the business partner – and the investment had previously been approved jointly with the business.  The governance committee responsible for establishing these processes should be made up of members from the executive committee who will ultimately approve your budget, so that they can be familiar, knowledgeable, and even involved in the investment as they are made.  Likewise, many of these investments are predicated upon creating savings in your infrastructure or elsewhere in the organization.  Therefore, be sure to not only identify the impact of ongoing costs but also identify where the savings or enhanced revenue have been realized in the organization.

Finally, identify the investment opportunities in your infrastructure and present them as ‘levers’ that the executive committee can ‘pull’ when they look for reduction opportunities in your budget.  These levers can range from outsourcing portions of your infrastructure, to investing in new technologies that will result in performance improvements or efficiency gains in the future.  In fact, outsourcing is typically an easy sell when it addresses an area of your organization that is not a core system or competency.  As an example, many IT organizations have become responsible for managing the telecommunications infrastructure and related invoices for the entire organization.  This can be a labor-intensive process which often requires specialized knowledge of telecom billing.  Many outsource companies today can provide services to automate the paying and auditing of your telecom invoices – and even make the carriers’ job of servicing your account much easier.  This is a prime example of a lever you want to present to an oversight or executive committee because although it makes fiscal sense, you also want to obtain mutual agreement that it will also result in tough decisions with respect to staff reductions. Presenting options such as this will prove that your IT shop is not only looking to be a partner to the business, but also stepping up as a leader in reducing cost and improving services and performance.

In talking with a number of colleges, this is the time of year many IT organizations begin to work through their annual IT budgets.  Presenting transparency, impact of prior investment through governance, and providing cost-saving options are the keys to providing sound fiscal leadership and to developing a reputation as a trusted partner to the business.  As mentioned at the beginning of the article, the only potential “evil” side effect of following this outline – now that you are an expert – is that you may get cajoled into assisting the marketing department with its annual budget planning.    As sometimes the case, no good deed goes unpunished.

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4 steps to effective Disaster Recovery planning

by Marc Watley, Aug 23, 2010

IT executives today are, in fact, increasingly faced with the threat of disasters – whether natural or man-made. As organizations – and their customers – increasingly rely on database, server, and IP-connected applications and data sources, the importance and responsibility of maintaining continuity of the business infrastructure and limiting costly downtime in the event of a disaster, is paramount. Read this article to get a high-level, best-practices overview of the DR planning process. more…

Character and Personality #8: Competency

by Gary Monti, Aug 24, 2010

A good leader is also a good politician, one who finds a way to thread through a situation to reveal a path that, when followed, benefits the common good. Competence pulls technology and sophistication together so that one person can meet another person’s needs, i.e., a connection comprising the humanity of the stakeholders who need and commit to finding a solution that works. more…

Social Media and Tribes #9: The fear factor

by Deepika Bajaj, Aug 25, 2010

Even professionals who have gone through many technological innovations in the past don’t find the idea of being transparent and authentic over social media too appealing. They were worried about identity theft, making a wrong impression on a potential employer and above all were overwhelmed by the friend requests on Facebook. These are valid concerns, but not an excuse to avoid social media.  more…

Flexible Focus #16: The decision trap

by William Reed, Aug 26, 2010

Ambiguity causes anxiety in those who are inflexible, and creates possibilities in the minds of the people who have flexible focus. Tolerance for ambiguity drops when you have to make a decision. Urgency adds pressure, and when the decision affects the core areas of your life, you can feel as if you are lost in a labyrinth of choices. Your decision sets the wheels in motion, whereas with indecision the wheel turns without you. Read about the Six Criteria for Decision Making to stay in motion and steer the wheel. more…

Investment Value

by Steve Popell, Aug 27, 2010

In a previous post, Business Valuation in Divorce is Different, Steve discussed why Investment Value is more appropriate in the context of family law.  But, this method is not just for divorcing couples.  In any situation in which the party acquiring an interest (or a greater interest) in a company will become (or continue to be) part of the management team, Investment Value is often the most appropriate method.  Read this article to find out why. more…

In a previous post, Business Valuation in Divorce is Different, we discussed why Investment Value is more appropriate in the context of family law.  But, this method is not just for divorcing couples.  In any situation in which the party acquiring an interest (or a greater interest) in a company will become (or continue to be) part of the management team, Investment Value is often the most appropriate method.  Here’s why.

In a Fair Market valuation, the objective is to determine what a hypothetical “willing buyer” would pay a hypothetical “willing seller” in a hypothetical “free market” etc.  But, that is not what is going on in a divorce or in a variety of other private company business situations.  An abbreviated list would include the following.

• Sale of shares in a corporation to a new hire.
• Repurchase of shares in a corporation from a retiring, or otherwise terminating, employee.
• Sale of a partnership interest in a professional firm to a new partner.
• Repurchase of a partnership interest in a professional firm from a retiring, or otherwise terminating, partner.
• Implementing a stock option plan.
• Implementing a Stock Appreciation Rights program.
• Establishing a value, or value formula, for a buy-sell agreement.

In each of these examples, the buyer is a current (or soon-to-be) partner and/or a member of the management team and, as such, intends to benefit (or benefit to a greater extent) financially from future operations.  This is strictly an insider transaction, with no hypothetical “willing buyer” in sight.

In a small professional firm, for example, a prospective outside acquirer would typically find value primarily in the people who operate it.  S/he would be “buying the people” rather than the firm itself.  The resulting dependence on 1-3 key individuals creates risk which, in turn, depresses value from the perspective of an outsider.  For an insider, not so much.

A key insider owner should certainly be cognizant of the importance of a management structure that has breadth and depth.  That’s just prudent management.  But, more importantly, s/he need not fear that the currently thin management structure will suddenly evaporate by virtue of a loss of motivation.  In addition, there are many important financial benefits to being an inside owner, including control or influence regarding:

• Salaries
• Bonuses
• Retirement plans
• Common executive perks (such as automobile or expense allowance)
• Uncommon executive perks (such as an apartment or extensive foreign travel)

In some cases, the value to an insider may be considerably higher than to an outsider.  Conversely, if the company or professional firm is in financial difficulty, the value of the inside investment could be well below Fair Market Value, because the financial risk will be borne entirely by the current owner/manager team.  The common thread here is the value of stock or partnership interest to an inside investor. That is why Investment Value in such cases is the valuation method of choice.

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This article has been contributed by Steven D. Popell CMC (Certified Management Consultant.) Steve has been qualified as a business valuation expert since 1974, and has published extensively on this topic. CMC, a certification mark awarded by the Institute of Management Consultants USA, represents evidence of the highest standards of consulting and adherence to the ethical canons of the profession. Steve was a 2007 winner Collaborative Practice California Eureka Award for contributions to Collaborative Practice in this state and is a Senior Partner in Popell & Forney, with offices in Los Altos Hills and Pleasant Hill, California.

Ambiguity causes anxiety in those who are inflexible, and creates possibilities in the minds of the people who have flexible focus.

But tolerance for ambiguity drops when you have to make a decision. Urgency adds pressure, and when the decision affects the core areas of your life, you can feel as if you are lost in a labyrinth of choices.

However, a labyrinth is only a mystery to those trapped within its walls. The way to free yourself from the trap is to gain a bird’s eye perspective, which helps you see where you are now, and how to find your way out.

Decision is a strong word, a choice, a judgment, a commitment to a purpose. Decisiveness is a quality of successful people, who make decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. This enables them to take advantage of opportunities that are missed or go unnoticed by those who take a long time to make a decision, and then easily change their minds.

Your decision sets the wheels in motion, whereas with indecision the wheel turns without you. This insight is the origin behind such sayings as, he who hesitates is lost, and strike while the iron is hot. As long as you are in motion you can steer the vehicle. The moment you stop moving you start to drift, and are at the mercy of the elements.

Opportunities come in critical moments

So says Roger Hamilton, author of Your Life Your Legacy, who compares decision making with what you do the moment the soccer ball is passed to you. Depending on your position on the pitch and who is around you, you may pass, run with, or kick the ball. If you hesitate then the ball, and the opportunity, will be taken away from you.

Roger also recommends Six Criteria for Decision Making, which can keep you moving in the right direction.

1. Fits Passion and Purpose
2. Allows Value Creation
3. Allows Leverage
4. Failure steers not sinks
5. Downside learning motivates
6. Upside learning inspires

When faced with an important decision in your career, the alternatives usually contain some attractive elements mixed in with other elements that make you hesitate. The temptation is to compromise and take what you can get, rationalizing that no option will be perfect. However, if you disregard an important element now, it will eventually come back and cause you to regret or revise your decision.

If you can align all six of the decision criteria, then you are already out of the labyrinth.

Learn from others with a better perspective

A great way to gain perspective is to gather quotes from people who have wisdom and experience with decisions. You can search famous quotes online using key words such as decisions, dilemma, choices, or whatever word works best for you.

Here are some quotes that I searched and selected using the word decisions.

• Pressure is nothing more than the shadow of great opportunity. (~Michael Jordan)
• It is never to late to be what you might have been. (~George Eliot)
• You will always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. (~Wayne Gretsky)
• It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are. (~Roy Disney)
• Life is the sum of all of your choices. (~Albert Camus)
• Indecision becomes decision with time. (~Unknown)
• Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
• Fortune favors the prepared mind. (~Louis Pasteur)

When you face an important decision that does not easily yield to logical choices, place your favorite quotes on a Mandala Chart and use them as a tool for accessing the best perspective on your decision. You can download a PDF featuring the quotes above as a DECISION MANDALA for practice, and then create your own.

This is quick way to create a roundtable of advisors to help you with your decision, a portable mastermind that costs nothing and transcends time and space. The process of collecting the quotes helps you refine your criteria, and the time spent looking at the quotes in the Mandala Chart format brings things into sharper focus.

You can apply the same process working with decision criteria. Eight criteria should be enough for most situations. The Mandala Chart can be useful as a self-coaching tool, or to organize your thoughts before seeking outside advice. It can sort through the insignificant many, and give you a field of focus for the significant few.

Making better decisions

How do you make good decisions when the choice is not easy?

Do you list the advantages and disadvantages of each alternative? A good beginning, but it is often hard to weigh emotions and intangibles.

Do you consult with your friends? Nice to have moral support, but friendly advice can end up making you more confused than ever. Advice is cheap, and none of people you ask are likely to have as much invested in the outcome as you do.

Do you gather more information? Worthwhile to a point, but too much analysis leads to decision paralysis.

Do you flip a coin? Consult an oracle? Ultimately the decision will be back to you.

The only way to get clarity on a decision is to reflect on it with a calm mind and a broad perspective. The Mandala Chart can help you do this.

The quality of your decisions determines whether they become traps or opportunities.

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Recently, I was in a conference in Las Vegas, speaking about the ” Social Media – Taboos & Innovative Uses”. The focus was to help professional women of different ethnic backgrounds understand how technology, specifically social media, help or hinder their personal and professional development. Though they all understood that these days you cannot afford to ignore  social media as one of the key ways in which companies and individuals communicate, there was this FEAR of it as well.

These were professional women who had gone through many technological innovations in the past but the idea of being transparent and authentic over social media didn’t appeal to them. They were worried about identity theft, making a wrong impression on a potential employer and above all were overwhelmed by the friend requests on Facebook (from people they don’t know). They were trying to get “tips” and “techniques” on which social network to use e.g LinkedIn versus Facebook OR how to do a check on someone from a different country OR how to save their children. Some of them were working mothers who were of the opinion that all that Twitter and Facebook were doing was to hurt their children since now they didn’t have control over who their friends were on Facebook. Some of them were scared that some nasty pictures of their kids might float on the internet and hurt their reputation.

I think all these are valid concerns.

Here is the BIG BUT.

Avoid Stupidity

I am putting this bluntly. This is nothing different from the way of life. Don’t do anything that you don’t want published or don’t want hurting you. This way you will not have to worry about what pictures your friends are tagging you in OR have friends you can trust for not hurting you. The idea of social media is not to use it for hurting people. That is not the intention. This is a tool like every other tool – if you misuse it, it will be destructive. Destruction is possible even if you speed in a car, over load your washing machine and/or overheat your food. Don’t do anything stupid and tools are usually effective in increasing your productivity. Similarly, social media is a tool to make it convenient for you to broadcast your POSITIVE message to your tribe. Read my previous post on this: Changing the World is Addictive.

Fear of Unknown

Fear and Suspicion are based on a lack of knowledge.There is nothing more paralyzing than fear.  Learning these tools is important. Speculating this as an observer will only lead to fear, uncertainty and distress. Social media is here to stay. We can learn it and leverage this to make it a powerful tool to create networks that connect professionals to opportunities in their career and personal branding. To let go of fear, in this post I share how it has helped women: The New internet Junkie

Build Relationships

Don’t worry about all the negatives, focus on being valuable. Share things that you believe might help others in their pursuits, connect with companies where you think you can add value, build a brand as someone who has something valuable to offer. Don’t waste people’s time, share with them your expertise, give good help, listen to people. To emphasize on building relationships, here is a post : Relationships matter more than ever before.

Last but not the least, don’t forget to have fun!

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Delivering the goods is the final judgment for leaders. This means in addition to charisma there needs to be character strength and competency. Competency means, “to be fit for (Barnhart Concise Dictionary of Etymology).” This can be challenging because of the number of boundaries present, which can be fluid and not always precise. In general, though, the boundaries can be looked at as those between technology and sophistication.

Technology

“Technology” comes from the Greek “techne” and refers to a craft or skill for getting things done such as farming or carpentry. So, technology has to do with the rules for getting things done, for implementing. This is why tools are also called implements. There is no reflection of greater truths. It’s just about what it takes to get something done, e.g., the creation of a circuit board. A competent leader is keenly aware of the need to pay close attention to the technology and its implementation since the devil is in the details. Does the leader need to be technically competent? No. The leader can be surrounded by those possessing technology and a willingness to work together to bring about the product (more on that later). Does this mean that technology is trivial – far from it. The technology can exist outside of the leader.

Sophistication

“Sophistication” comes from the Greek “sophia” and means “wisdom”. A leader needs to be sophisticated which has a great deal of humility associated with it (see blog on humility). In other words, a competent leader is aware of the limits present in a situation, including his or her own.

Wisdom has a depth to it that goes beyond technical competency. A competent leader understands that in a complicated situation there is more than one truth system at play. In fact, there is at least one truth system for every belief system present.

Competent Leadership

A competent leader finds a balance among the technologies and truth systems present. An earlier blog on change management references Henry Kaiser and his ability to lead in bringing Liberty ships to life in World War II. Aristotle referred to this type of person as a good politician, one who finds a way to thread through a situation to reveal a path that, when followed, benefits the common good.

There is a fluidity to a leadership situation. To be competent means to be grounded in the right set of principles with the right priorities and be able to flex with the situation. There are no rules for that. There is no technology.

Maybe you can see why it is so important to be able to answer the question, “Who are you?” discussed in the blog on Panic and Self-Doubt. Unlike technology, sophistication must be within the leader.

The importance of technology then is a reflection of sophistication. A reflection of the balance within and among the leader and stakeholders involved, including the team. Competence pulls all of the above together so that one person can meet another person’s needs, i.e., a connection comprising the humanity of the stakeholders who need and commit to finding a solution that works.

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