Posts Tagged ‘charity’

I was visiting with one of my friends on the phone this morning.  He told me about a former client, Jill, who had won the lottery.  The after tax payment to Jill was a lump sum of $13,000,000.  Where I grew up, that’s a sizeable lump.

Before I could say, “Yeah, but you know most lottery winners are worse off two years after they win the lottery than they were before,” my friend said Jill had told him the lottery curse was complete nonsense.  Almost 10 years after winning the lottery, Jill and her husband were living fun and fulfilling lives.  They didn’t buy mansions and they didn’t adopt any bad habits.  Each year they harvested 6% income from the $13,000,000 (which according to my math is closing in on $800,000), they traveled and they did pretty much what they damn well pleased.

That story got my friend and I talking about the question:  How much is enough?  How we answer that question has a profound impact on the joy and satisfaction we experience, and perhaps even on the level of success we attain.  My friend also shared some advice from a source he didn’t name (or that I don’t remember).  It went like this:

“Give away the first 10% you earn.  Save the next 10%.  Pay taxes and live on the balance.  If you do this, you’ll never be sorry and you’ll never be broke.”

That simple suggestion and its remarkable promise took my breath away.  Of course, many religions teach the practice of tithing and charity toward others.  And we’ve all, no doubt, received the admonition from one of the many financial gurus to save, save, save.  Both of which are sound ideas to my mind.  But when you add the promise, you’ll never be sorry and you’ll never be broke – somehow that ramps the power of these ideas up exponentially.

What if we followed this practice in our businesses?  What if we donated the first 10% – to the church or school of our choice, to the many wonderful private agencies that serve the disadvantaged, to an incubator for new business start-ups, or to the arts?  And then, what if we saved the next 10%?  What would it be like, after a time, to be sitting on a stack of cash?  Wouldn’t that allow us to weather the inevitable storms?  Wouldn’t that allow us to make decisions based on what was really best for our business – without feeling like there was a gun to our head?  Wouldn’t we feel better about ourselves and sleep a bit more soundly at night?

But then I wonder, what would it take to give away the first 10% – save the next 10%?  Do we have the will, the generosity, the courage?  If not 10%, how about 5%?  If not 5%, how about 2%?  Could it be this idea is better than winning the lottery?  I’m not sure.  But I am 100% convinced it is more likely than winning the lottery and that the payoff could be huge!

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Tagged as: A good business A great life, active garage, business, charity, donating, giving, investing, Jack Hayhow, Leadership, lottery payback, management, OPUS, saving, Winning a lottery

The roots of inflexibility

One of the hardest lessons of flexibility is letting go of the ego’s attachments. Pride prevents you from achieving flexibility, because it insists on being right, being first, or being better than others. It’s companions are alike, inflexible, stubborn, righteous, and condescending. These attitudes have ruled and ruined empires as well as personal relationships throughout history, and of course are equally evident today.

The ancient Greeks called it hubris (hybris), excessive ambition or pride leading to a fall, or to total ruin. In Asian tradition, pride is like the brittle stick which does not bend, but only breaks. The inflexibility of mind, also known as the hardening of the attitudes, is ultimately the cause of the problem. It is better to be flexible, like bamboo.

Unfortunately, pride can be deeply rooted, and actually leaves visible traces in your posture and bearing. In Japanese there are many expressions for the body language of pride and its many moods: high nose (hana ga takai), big attitude (taido ga dekai), bent mouth (kuchi ga he no ji), twisted navel (heso magari).

We must become the change we want to see. ~M. Gandhi

It takes discipline and awareness to restore the flexibility you had as a small child, to be simple and natural. And there is a faster way to flexibility, based on a Mandala Principle from Buddhism, the Principle of Gratitude (慈悲喜捨 Jihi Kisha).

This 4-character compound contains the keys to that principle.

慈 (Ji) Kindness, Love, Benevolence. Giving other people happiness or abundance.

悲 (Hi) Compassion, Mercy, Charity. Offering support, or a helping hand.

喜 (Ki) Celebration, Joy, Empathy. Feeling happy for other people’s happiness or success.

捨 (Sha) Giving, Releasing, Forgetting. Giving freely without strings attached.

These four attitudes, or four gratitudes, will quickly open your eyes and your heart to a deeper level of flexible focus. Instead of looking for things, you will see and notice them, as well as understand exactly how you can help people in each situation. As a reminder, you can download the Mandala of Gratitude, and start using it in your daily life.

There is no limit to how far you can take this. But even if you do not approach the depth of gratitude and awareness of Mohandas K. Gandhi or Mother Teresa, the very intention to shift your awareness toward gratitude can change your life. It will certainly improve the lives of the people around you.

A new model for coaching

While the term Jihi Kisha comes from Buddhism, the importance of gratitude and giving thanks is universal to all religions and even in secular life in all cultures. Even the master of human relations Dale Carnegie, author of the world’s bestselling classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People, said that the key to human relations was “to be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” For a great summary of other Dale Carnegie wisdom, visit My Choices, My Life.

Why not apply this to your own relationships, particularly those in which you are supporting or coaching another person, whether it be a family member or friend, or a coaching client?

While it may seem difficult to strive for high character ideals, the Mandala Chart gives you a structure and a tool that you can adjust and apply to your own situation. Using any of the PDF templates in this Flexible Focus series, or the Mandala Chart for iPad, you can start with eight key questions or points of focus, or you can create your own, and you will have a coaching tool with far more flexibility and functionality than a mere list of bullet points.

When you start doing this, one of the first things that you notice is that you are not the only one in trouble, and there are lots of ways that you can help other people, starting with those around you. The more you do this, the more good things come back to you, unless that was your reason for doing it in the first place. Give without strings attached. Give because we are all connected.

Lose the scarcity mentality and replace it with one of abundance, and make the world a better place. It all starts with you!

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Tagged as: abundance, active garage, benevolence, celebration, charity, coaching, compassion, empathy, Flexible Focus, forgetting, give first, giving, joy, kindness, love, mahatma gandhi, mandala, mandala charts, manga, mercy, mother teresa, pride, releasing, scarcity, the art of giving, william reed