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… apparently not that much! according to Daniel Goleman in his best selling book “Emotional Intelligence“; in which he says that success is 80% Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and 20% Intelligence Quotient (IQ).
Our success in life and business for the most part, depends on how we manage ourselves and our emotions rather than how much IQ we have… and how we manage our emotions depends upon our emotional stamina!
Think about it – When we are happy and joyful, we think clearly and solutions to our problems seem to flow effortlessly. When we are angry or upset , our whole mind and body is tensed and our thinking is clouded and we make weak choices for the future that we are trying to create.
For most people, coming out of bad emotions may take somewhere from five minutes to a few hours… some take days and some even longer! That makes sense, since each one of us is shaped differently through our experiences in the world. The problem is: Our life is wasted during the time we wobble in those bad emotions. To be highly effective most of the time, we have to learn to build our emotional stamina.
So, how does one build emotional stamina? I have a 2-step process that I’d like to share with you:
1.Become Aware of the emotions : When an emotion strikes us , we become one with it. Our whole mind is filled with that emotion and our body reacts accordingly. When we are angry, our mind is filled with the emotion we call “anger” and our body shakes. When we are happy, our mind is filled with the emotion we call “happiness” and our body is relaxed. With the knowledge that the posture our body automatically assumes is a result of the emotion we are “in”, we can begin our journey towards awareness towards our emotions. We begin with taking notice of our body… not do anything, just watch! For example, any stress in the body, contortions in our facial expression, clenching of teeth – all are tell tale signs of brewing anger. Give it a shot with this simple exercise (you can do sitting in the comfort of your home): Watch your emotions when you watch a movie. As soon as you feel you’re getting “into” the movie, pause it and reflect on your emotions. You will notice the different emotions that are produced in your body.
2.Handle the Emotions to work for you, not against you: Once we become aware of our emotions, then slowly, we can learn to change them. To change them, we have to know what emotions we need to change them to. When we are dejected, we can start being optimistic by remembering a quote or by starting to read an inspirational book. Like any other habit, this takes a while to master, but once mastered it increases our effectiveness in our business and in all other areas of our life.
Now that we know about the “EQ”, here’s an idea on how to use it: Once you become aware of your emotions and learn how to handle them to be in your favor, you can start noticing the emotions in others including your team members and can even change their emotions, so that not only you, you can even help your team be highly effective!
So, the next time someone tells you about how it is all about the IQ, gently remind them of the bigger chunk of the iceberg that floats under the water… hidden from common sight… called the EQ!
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