Posts Tagged ‘friends’

I woke up from a dream this morning that made me question: “Really?” It was only the last few seconds of the dream that seemed so profound. It was a children’s choir – all boys, and they were singing a Christmas song. The only lyric I heard was:  “Gift me with my enemies and my ministers.” This is a pretty profound phrase, especially for a group of youngsters to be singing as a Christmas song.

My Enemies

My enemies infuse me with intense emotions – rage, hatred, vile condemnation and contempt. Judgments are automatic, so much so I don’t even know that I’m judging. How I respond, more often than not is a knee jerk reaction. I’m inflamed and my actions inflammatory. I want to violate them as they have violated me based on my sense of what’s right and wrong, good and bad. I want to wipe them off the planet so that I can live peacefully. However …

What I know is that my enemies are my best teachers. They reflect what I most hate in the world and most likely (like about 100%) they reflect aspects of myself that I do not wish to acknowledge or own. When my enemies are around, I have no doubt, I have something to learn.

My Ministers

Ministers are also my teachers, my coaches and counselors. They are my thinking partners, who also reflect back to me, through deep listening and questioning, how aligned I am with my highest truths and how I may be ignoring or distracting myself from the ways I’ve contributed to the very violence I hate in my adversaries. These wise beings bring my attention to the learnings so available for me by embracing the enemy as my long lost lover.

Sometimes, though, in the company of my enemies I retreat, hide and disappear into a myriad of disguises to protect myself from harm and from looking bad. I may throw stones from behind a barrier and pretend it’s not me at all who is engaged in warfare. I disown my anger, my feelings of righteousness and indignation. “It wasn’t me!” I exclaim with defensiveness and contempt for having been accused unjustly.

My ministers inquire regarding my actions, curious as to the origins of my behavior and the thoughts that precipitated them. What has me be blinded to my own truth – in denial (Don’t Even Know I am Lying) of my barbarous attitude and position?

We need our adversaries – our enemies to confront us. They bring out the worst in us and provide opportunities for us to truly reflect on the importance, value and priorities of our hierarchy of desires. We need our ministers, counselors, therapists and coaches to reflect what gifts are available for us by engaging with our enemies.

The Dilemma

Many of us love to hate! It makes us feel good to think violent thoughts and even go to war for what we believe to be right and true. How can we get even, or better yet, how can we be victorious? What if I consider the possibility that my enemies are gifts? What would that mean – what are the consequences of such a consideration?

I’ll tell you right now, I hate the thought of giving up my armor of righteousness and entitlement, because I feel safe, powerful and in control when I can wield them with stealth accuracy. Without them, I believe myself to be defenseless, exposed and vulnerable.

I ask myself – what is considered right? What is considered wrong? Who is responsible for the woes of the world? My ministers smile and with their eyes they inquire into my soul’s wisdom for what is true; and I then, for that moment comprehend that I am an accomplice in all acts of violence on the planet. Only by recognizing the seed of vengeance within me I’m able to receive the gifts of freedom from my enemy.

Through deep discernment and with the support and empowering nature of my ministers am I able to choose to choose to see myself and my enemies differently. Through the annihilation of my own pretence and the shattering of the barriers of them vs. us, am I truly allowed to realize I am my brother/sister’s keeper, and they are mine.

The dilemma as a choice-point shifts when I choose to honor my highest truth and risk losing my attachments, my position, my identity – perhaps even life itself for something much larger than me. I’m working on it!

Social Media and Tribes#18: Better than Google

by Deepika Bajaj on October 27, 2010

You may be wondering what is better than Google? Indeed a fair question. This is how I use Google. I get a question in my mind and I type the question on the search bar. Then I click “search” in pursuit of my answer. It is a good way to get information of topics and things that you are interested in.

But what happens if you want real-time customer reviews, insights and recommendations from your tribe.

This is when I use “Facebook”. I type a question on my profile status and seek answers from my network…and they all collectively help me get to the answer.

Here is an example: While in Delhi, I wanted to get recommendation on where to get info on movie reviews and showtimes. I simply reached out to my network on facebook.

My FB Conversation

I got responses within a couple of hours. In the meantime, I was on a conference call. And had the help of my friends plan a movie date with my grandmother. So, instead of me working alone, I had a group of friends who helped me get to what I was looking for. This is the raw power of leverage that Facebook Tribe offers.

Why it is better than Google?

  1. Not alone anymore: Man is a social animal and now inhabits the social networking cyber-safari. Why do things alone when it is more fun to do things with others? So, Google might be full of information but you need to dig into it alone. Instead it is the collective leverage that adds a tinge of FUN and that ever-so-important human element to the mix.
  2. Sharing is caring: Getting information is like hoarding things for yourself. When people share on FB others who might be in the conversation also get others update. This sharing and caring makes the world go around.
  3. A virtual BOND: People who are on the social networks actually broadcast info to their tribe about what they are doing. And in this process they give and receive information which leads to a virtual bonding within the tribe. Sometimes, people who have only communicated online meet in person and they are no strangers to each others. Now that is some virtual bond.

A constant contact, a constant reach and constant care makes search on FB sometimes better than Google…

Let the Games Begin!

by Deepika Bajaj on September 17, 2009

As human beings, we are always in a game in our lives. We have characters who play different roles in our lives. There are jobs we are doing to earn money (points). There are times we WIN and times we LOSE. There are rules for the game of life – try not showing up for work to understand this point. And there is start and end.

These games keep us entertained, challenged and engaged. Every time we are too comfortable, we need to change the game to keep ourselves going. Imagine! sitting in your living room, changing channels on the TV, you are restless and then suddenly a friend comes in and takes you for a game of basketball – suddenly he changed the game you’re in… and what’s better! You find yourself enjoying the new game you’re in.

This is the underlying foundation of why Gaming is so popular on social networks like facebook, myspace and bebo. Your friends keep pushing the bar of the game you are in and you enjoy the time spent with them. You can form guilds and communities with your friends and discover new friends who have similar interests to accomplish big milestones. Many games give you the choice to pick an Avatar that speaks to your favorite fantasy character. Most importantly, the fun is in planning and coordinating with your friends… and of course, Winning!

It is clear that the intent of gaming and social media is to bring SOCIAL back into the game.

Here are the trends that show how social networks are integrating with games.

1. Play Games on Facebook:

Looking for a new game to play? Discover games on Facebook — Tetris, Bowling, Scrabble and more. Games: Better with friends.

2. Twitter and Facebook on XBOX 360

Social Media and Live gaming on Xbox

So, let the games BEGIN…


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DD-new-pic-headshot Contributed by Deepika Bajaj, President and Founder, Invincibelle, LLC. Invincibelle helps women who live and work in a multicultural world to accelerate their professional growth.

Deepika is also the author of the book DiversityTweet: Embracing the growing diversity in our world.

You can follow Deepika on Twitter at invincibelle