Posts Tagged ‘patience’

Hank is a young fellow working for a fifteen year old company in Sarasota, Florida. He is frustrated because there is a lack of momentum on the part of his manager to fully implement Hank’s gifts and skills. He’s frustrated because he feels underutilized and unfulfilled. He feels like a racehorse that isn’t given enough rein to really run the race and win. He’s being held back, but why?

More often than not, managers aren’t conscious of how they influence their team. They don’t even know that there’s a way that they are being that limits the success of their direct reports and the success of the company as well. Only sometimes are they holding back their direct reports in service to their own desired outcomes. Usually, they just don’t know.

What Hank hears from his boss is to not push for change too quickly; “Things take time around here. Slow and steady wins the race.” Hank isn’t a tortoise; he’s a thoroughbred. He was hired for his expertise and the results that he’s capable of. He has the passion and capability to make things happen quickly. After two years with this company under this particular manager, Hank has exhausted much of his creative energies fighting his manager for more free rein.

Hank’s dilemma

Hanks dilemma isn’t foreign at all to many individuals working under a management style that holds them back rather than supports growth and expansion. How does he bring the best he can to a situation where his manager really doesn’t know how to manage a thoroughbred like Hank? He could quit; however, is there something else that’s happening here for Hank that could bring value to his time in this company? What’s possible here as a learning opportunity?

Through our coaching, Hank gets clearer that he is being exposed to a management style that is ineffective for him and people like him. He wants things to change – he wants his manager to be more of a mentor; he wants to move up in the ranks and be a leader himself in bigger and better ways. He’s stuck behind a plow horse and can’t see his way clear to run the race he believes he is here to win.

A fascinating aspect of Hank’s dilemma is that he is actually in a perfect internship opportunity where he has the most to learn to be a really good leader for people like himself. Rather than focus on how ineffective his manager is, he can focus on two things:

  • What’s missing in his manager’s style that if it were present would spur Hank on to greater success?
  • What’s available in the current situation that can be of benefit to him and his leadership development? What’s incubating within himself that will bring about a much more powerful leadership style?

I believe that these questions are so essential in business coaching. Sometimes our clients can’t change their circumstance, however they can shift their perspective. I believe that every situation we find ourselves in is an internship – a place to learn what we need to learn. More often than not, like Hank, we didn’t consciously sign up for these internships – these learning opportunities. Thoroughbreds want to run – they don’t want to do anything else – there’s nothing else to do but get to the finish line. However, Hank has an opportunity to learn through experience and take notes on how to be a leader – committed to the best and highest contribution of his team. He can only do this through his current experience.

Being fully immersed in his current circumstances, Hank is having an experience that informs him about his own personal reality, needs and desires; informs him of what capacities he sees is required to work in the environment within which he finds himself; and, informs him of what capacities he wants to cultivate to be the manager he wishes he had for himself, and that he wants to be for others.

Hank’s practice is multidimensional: He has to get out of his normal operating strategies, which include the automatic generation of thoughts and feelings. He has to look around and see how his environment is currently affecting him. He has to think – I mean really think, about what there is to learn right now beyond perceived constraints. He has to accept that what he thought would be the rewards and outcome of this position in this company isn’t forthcoming, yet there are greater rewards far more rich, delicious and sustainable for him to achieve, right here, right now. Hank can get – and is getting, that this is a leadership development opportunity of a lifetime that isn’t available in any MBA program; not even at Harvard Business School. If he can shift his attitude and perspective, Hank will become an exceptional leader and manager.

We all have dreams about what we imagine our careers will reap. More often than not, we see it happening soon, faster and better than it actually occurs. We get frustrated, pissed off, resentful because it doesn’t look the way we imagined it. As we each step into being grown up and adult, realizing that life doesn’t show up the way we want, but shows up the way it does, we have a much greater capacity to choose willingly to explore the opportunities for growth and learning that are right in front of us. By meeting what feels like demands with openness and curiosity we will be given the rewards we anticipated in ways we’ve yet to imagine.

Though it appears as if Hank’s manager is inept at his job, he will actually be one of the greatest contributors to Hank’s development as an up and coming leader. However, it’s up to Hank to fully utilize his time under his guidance to fully benefit from his mentor’s style.

Rosie KuhnThis article is contributed by Dr. Rosie Kuhn, founder of the Paradigm Shifts Coaching Group, author of Self-Empowerment 101, and creator and facilitator of the Transformational Coaching Training Program. She is a life and business coach to individuals, corporations and executives.
Share

As the Paradigm Shifts #R: Resistance

by Rosie Kuhn on August 18, 2011

I’m experiencing resistance to writing this blog. I feel angry, frustrated and distracted by, well … It’s more that I’m allowing myself to get distracted; that way I can avoid being with what I don’t want to be with.

You might be asking – as I would, if I were you, why I’m resisting writing if I’m in the business of writing .

Even though I enjoy writing, it’s challenging at times to put words and sentences together in a way that articulates what I’m wanting to say. Sometimes it comes easy and every so often it’s more challenging to get down on paper exactly what’s wanting to be said. In this moment I’m trying to make sense of the idea that resistance is an important concept to bring into this series on spirituality in business. I’m an intuitive writer and sometimes I’m not the thinker here. I’m just transcribing what’s coming through me. I know that sounds a little whacked, however I find that this way of writing is far more enjoyable, revealing and insightful. The point is that sometimes I have to deal with confusion, uncertainty, doubt, and on occasion feelings of being an inadequate loser. I resist having to confront these beliefs about myself; I’d rather go do something easy and fun, where I don’t feel vulnerable to humiliation.

I guess this is the point, isn’t it. That quite often there are aspects of our work that we resist because we don’t like being engaged in those activities that challenge us. We get bugged by people, places or things and put the brakes on, dig in our heels, avoid, distract or ignore what’s in front of us in service to resistance, which is in service to avoiding the discomfort of vulnerability.

Resistance at Work

My work in corporations brings me face to face with people resisting the very work they are paid to do. I’m stymied by the degree of resistance to do what individuals are hired to do; the lack of collaboration that they agreed to, the lack of leadership and management they were trained to do. People are resisting doing what they’ve come here to do. I find that fascinating!

For many, the rules of the game in any organization are unknown, so you have to play your best poker face, your best everything, always – if you want to get ahead, get that raise or praise. You have to resist direct confrontation or insults; you might resist sexual innuendos. You have to resist getting fired and some people resist getting promoted, but they can’t say that – it’s not politically correct.

One specific manager I’ve worked with in the Silicon Valley was threatened by anyone who showed any inkling of being smarter than he was. He had many opportunities to empower his team members in ways that would enhance their performance, however because of his belief that no one could think better than him, he resisted acknowledging and encouraging his direct reports. Many of his direct reports shared with me that they were frustrated and felt limited in their capacity to do their work. The morale of the whole team was diminished because this manager was afraid that someone might outdo him.

This isn’t uncommon – we all know that. Resistance runs rampant in every institution, enough so that we are resistant to calling this game to a halt. There is something at stake! That something is precious enough that we don’t want to give it up. That something has a big price tag on it. Actually it has two price tags on it. One is the sale price – this is the price tag is what you are selling your soul for (Gag me with a spoon!). This price tag reflects the selling of our integrity, our truth, fulfillment, for the sake of power, position, control – and as always the illusion of invulnerability.

Resistance, as a Muscle

Resistance is an interesting set of muscles that we exercise in service to developing strength, control and power. It’s also a survival mechanism we’ve developed over time, and quite often, like many of our survival mechanisms it becomes automatic and unconscious. We’ve become unaware of why we are engaging those specific muscles in the first place. But a point that I want to make here is that we have no idea how much energy it takes to resist. It’s something you might want to think about.

Resistance looks different for everyone, but what’s important is for you to discover, recognize and acknowledge your own particular style of resistance. Like I said, we are all doing it; it’s just a matter of how and to what end.

As the Paradigm Shifts…

As the paradigm shifts we awaken slowly but surely to our own unique contributions to the way life is, as opposed to the way we desire it to be. We see where we resist shifting and changing as an attempt to hold on to what we’ve got, though what we’ve got isn’t necessarily what we want.

Sometimes the practice is to resist resisting; go with the flow, ride with the tide! But first you/we have to become aware that we are resisting and what that resistance is serving.

You may have heard me suggest this practice before, however here it is again. It’s the simplest practice: Be Kind! Kindness costs nothing, takes no time and contributes greatly to peace on Earth. By practicing kindness you will come up against resistance to being kind. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for where you can begin to question the value of resisting. In this moment you are at a choice-point where you can choose to choose differently. In this moment the opportunity to self-realize is upon you, and with that comes the opportunity to be the change you wish to see.

Enjoy the adventure!

Rosie KuhnThis article is contributed by Dr. Rosie Kuhn, founder of the Paradigm Shifts Coaching Group, author of Self-Empowerment 101, and creator and facilitator of the Transformational Coaching Training Program. She is a life and business coach to individuals, corporations and executives.
Share

Last week I showed you how to be a pro and likeable when pushing for change and I showed you key actions that would get you taken seriously.  Here are the other two must-do’s if you want to make things happen at the office.

  1. Be (Somewhat) Patient: Every organization, even the smallest and most agile, has a pace at which they accept change.  You just got there and, even if you don’t want to hear it, you have a lot to learn.  As you work and grow (and we are talking a few months here, not years), you’ll learn the lingo of the job, become aware of nonobvious networks of people who can help you, and begin to think like your more experienced colleagues who have been at the job longer.  While new people can bring fresh ideas, and you should share with your boss any that occur to you, there really is no substitute for experience.  Just remember that too much experience can breed arrogance and arrogance can kill.  The captain of the doomed cruise liner Titanic had 19 previous high speed crossings of the Atlantic under his belt.  This amazing track record may have lulled him into a sense of invulnerability, of thinking that droning slowly through the ice fields was for wussies.  To set a speed record, he roared on and killed a LOT of people that night in the dark, icy waters of the North Atlantic.  [Note: If you run into an idiot like that guy, I retract what I just told you – – –  show him no patience and call his boss about his arrogance, pronto!]
  2. Promote: In a calm, non-threatening, relaxed voice, tell people about the benefits of your idea.  Talk about the benefits much more than the idea itself.  The same change-phobic people who resist new ideas seem to have a harder time resisting new benefits.   Look for co-conspirators who get excited when they hear about your idea.  And when you find them, and here is the hard part, let go of the idea.  Let it become their idea too because people will advocate their “own” idea a hundred times more passionately than they will someone else’s idea.  With enough persistence you or they may even locate a senior thought leader in your organization who will become the CHAMPION for your idea.  And that would probably cinch it!

So enough waiting!  Remember last week I gave you a (hopefully hypothetical) scenario in which nobody else seems to share your sense of urgency about making a no-brainer change at the office.  We asked you to decide which of four possible courses of action would be best (push like Hell, let your boss handle it, change jobs or push gently). What course of action did you choose?

– If you chose answer “a” you are wrong.  As a new person, making this one idea your all-consuming mission in life, before you even understand the job or the work environment, will make you look foolish.  And it will absolutely damage your career.  – If you chose answer b”” you were also wrong.  The idea is not necessarily unworkable or undesirable just because your boss won’t embrace it.  Maybe he is an idiot.  Don’t just toss the idea to the boss and then abandon it if he won’t push it.

–  Did you choose c””?  Really?  Change jobs?  C’mon, get real.  The people in your group hardly know you and they have their own ongoing day-to-day crises to wrestle with.  Everybody does.  You are in more of a rush than that Titanic driver and you saw what happened to him!

–  If you chose answer d, you are incredibly astute and intelligent far beyond your years!

Just remember to also add the Four P’s to your bag of tricks for getting ideas implemented and you will be unstoppable.  Some might say “unsinkable”.

Mack McKinneyMack McKinney is on a personal crusade to eliminate conflict and stress in our lives. Mack’s mantra is “People treat you like you TRAIN them to treat you!” His company Solid Thinking Corporation teaches creativity, concept development, relationship management and high-performance project leadership to major US corporations and the US government
Share

Use the Four P’s To Get Your Ideas MOVING:  Be Pleasant, Be Professional, Be (Somewhat) Patient and Promote Like Crazy

Picture this scene:  You are the new person at your office.  You’ve been there a month and a great idea just occurred to you.  This idea will help your group save money and deliver a better product or service.  You describe the idea to your colleagues and they like it.  So you mention it to your boss and she likes it too.  You are now very excited!

Adopting the idea won’t cost your group much money and the savings are remarkable, so you would like to get the idea adopted . . . yesterday. . .  immediately.  But nobody else seems to share your sense of urgency.  So what should you do?   Pick one.

  1. Push like Hell.  You probably have enough people believing in the idea already.  Make this your signature cause and get noticed.  Stand out as a change agent and do it now.  If you back down now, people will see you as a quitter.  This would be a bad reputation to get when you just arrived.  Make as much noise as needed to get that idea adopted and senior management will have to notice you!
  2. You are just too new to push ANY idea.  Convince your boss, who knows the group and how to make things happen, to push the idea, hopefully bringing you along.  Organizations fear change anyway, especially if the change is pushed by somebody new like you.  If your boss won’t champion the idea, drop it like a hot potato.
  3. Change jobs. If your group will not act on a great idea that is this OBVIOUS, you will never get them to change.  And if you cannot contribute, why are you working there?  You haven’t been there long enough for the job change to even show up on your resume.  Move on.  These people are dinosaurs and you will never fit in.
  4. Push the idea gently but don’t lose focus on your job and your career.  If you can’t get this idea adopted with gentle, steady persuasion, there must be some other reason(s) for the resistance.  Walk away.  Rethink it.  Repackage it.  Growing in your current job is more important than satisfying your ego.

Before we give you OUR answer, we’ll give you the secret to making things happen at work:  the four P’s – – – Be Pleasant, be Professional, be Patient and Promote.  Do these things and you will get your ideas accepted, guaranteed.  [Unless they are bizarre, aluminum-foil-on-your-head ideas, in which case you need the fifth P – – – Prozac.).

The four P’s are easy to do.

  1. Be Pleasant:  This doesn’t mean you have to suck up to anyone or abandon your deepest principles.  To be pleasant just think “face and back” – – –  Smile whenever you meet or greet people face to face.  Make it look like you are genuinely glad to see them.  Even better, BE genuinely glad to see them. Every time.  With everyone.   And never, ever say anything behind a person’s back that you haven’t already said to their face.  Ever.  And lastly, let others have their say.  This applies to your idea or to any idea or concept or world event or . . . well . .  . anything.  Let other people talk and don’t feel that you have to correct their opposite-from-yours view on the subject.  Practice letting it go. Go reread “Desiderata” and practice it!   Whenever tempted to go nose-to-nose with a real dufus, remember the phrase “Never wrestle with a pig.  You both get dirty but the pig likes it.”
  2. Be Professional:  You were hired to do a job.  Learn to do that job better than anyone on the planet.  And stay focused on that huge task.  Every day.  Be passionate about learning everything there is to know about your job.  (See our previous post about passion titled “Get a Fire going In Your Belly”).  Talk with other inquisitive, curious people about the work you do, why things are done the way they are, what problems existed previously and how they were solved, etc.  Always take the wide view of a situation and ask “what am I missing here?” when tempted to snap at someone.  The PAUSE is a powerful thing and it is sooooo easy to use!  More on that in a future post.

Next week we’ll show you that a little patience is desirable but that too much can be a very bad thing.  We’ll also show how you can promote your idea without becoming that boring/aggravating person everyone avoids at the lunch table

Copyright: Solid Thinking Corp.

Mack McKinneyMack McKinney is on a personal crusade to eliminate conflict and stress in our lives. Mack’s mantra is “People treat you like you TRAIN them to treat you!” His company Solid Thinking Corporation teaches creativity, concept development, relationship management and high-performance project leadership to major US corporations and the US government
Share

Ever have a resistant client? They want you to provide desired services but question and double-guess the recommendations and actions you make. Why would they behave that way? It has to do with the second function of myth, the Physical , also called the Cosmological. What it refers to is the beliefs (myths) one has as to how the world turns. In this case how the business world turns.

Cosmology, Clients, and Solar Eclipses

Having a cosmology is an important part of sense-making.  It provides a cause and effect framework for decisions. As long as it functions well there are eccentricities that will be accepted as “fact” when there really are just some coincidences in the system.

There’s a story about a cultural anthropologist who comes across a village right before a solar eclipse. The chief and village elders could not be distracted. They were preparing to save life itself. The anthropologist asked what was going on. The chief simply said, “Come and watch.”

As the moon began to creep in front of the sun the shaman began to direct the men of the village to beat the drums exactly as they had been taught – the way their fathers before them for many generations had done. As the eclipse progressed the drumming intensified and all the villagers were frozen in place wondering if the drumming would work this time. Eventually, the eclipse passed and the sun returned much to everyone’s relief.

The anthropologist felt it his duty to teach the villagers the rudiments of the Newtonian cosmology and explain how gravity worked along with drawing the orbits of the sun, the moon, and the earth. To his delight everyone listened intently and he left the village feeling proud.

He returned with the next eclipse and, much to his surprise, the drumming ritual was repeated. Exasperated he looked at the chief and said, “The theory I told you works!” The chief calmly looked at him and replied, “And if it doesn’t?”

Helping Clients Change

Bertrand Russell, the Nobel Prize winning 20th Century mathematician-philosopher, felt that cosmologies aren’t refuted they simply are abandoned. In other words, don’t argue with clients to put down their drums. Look for their hot buttons and pressure points. If there is enough pent up emotion over how their current methods aren’t working then they might consider the solution(s) you are offering. If not, then listen to their drumming and be patient.

I’ve learned it is important to let go of judging the client. Out at the edges everyone’s worldview starts to unravel. Maintaining a degree of humility is important in keeping a levelheaded approach.

If you need help in working through solar eclipses either in-house or with clients contact me at gwmonti@mac.com or visit www.ctrchg.com.

Gary Monti PMI presentation croppedThrough his firm, Center for Managing Change, Gary Monti has over 30 years experience providing change- and project management services internationally. He works at the nexus between strategy, business case, project-, process-, and people management. Service modalities include consulting, teaching, mentoring, and speaking. Credentials include PMP number 14 (Project Management Institute®), Myers-Briggs Type Indicator certification, and accreditation in the Cynefin methodology. Gary can be reached at gwmonti@mac.com or through Twitter at @garymonti
Share

The Dance of Entrepreneurship

by Rajesh Setty on June 9, 2009

There are broadly three phases of entrepreneurship

1. The Beginning

2. The Journey

3. The New Beginning ( Yes, It’s Not the Destination )

rubber_meets_the_road

Now, the quick outline of the elements in each phase:

1. The Beginning

The five elements for the beginning phase are:

1. Purpose: Knowing why you are in this will help you keep going when the going gets tough

2. Passion
: Doing what you love will make it feel like you are not working

3. People: Building together with the right people will make it look easy

4. Problem: Solving a real problem will help as people will pay to solve a real problem.

5. Plan: Having a plan even when you know that it’s going to change along the way

2. The Journey

The five elements of the journey

1. Patience: Everything takes longer and costs more. Patience is a MUST

2. Persistence: Sticking to the course of action even in the face of difficulty

3. Perseverance: Sticking to your beliefs even in the face of no successful outcome

4. Pain: Ability to handle the “pains” of entrepreneurship along the way

5. Politics: Knowing how to navigate in the sea of politics. You may not want to play politics but surely you should know how to survive and thrive in the politics that already exists

Last phase is what I call the “New Beginning.” I purposely did not call it the destination because rarely I see entrepreneurship “ends” with something – it’s usually a stepping stone to begin something new.

3. The New Beginning

So, here are the five elements of the new beginning

1. Pride: The satisfaction that comes with taking a concept to a completion

2. Profits: If executed well, there is money to be made. There are also profits in terms of personal growth and fulfillment.

3. Power: Since nine out of ten companies go out of business, if you are part of the one that succeeds, you automatically have more power.

4. Possibilities: New possibilities open up as you have more credibility

5. Philanthropy: You can make a bigger difference to the world as you have “extra” capacity

For those of you who are starting on this wonderful journey, wish you the very best.

rubber_meets_the_roadRajesh Setty is an entrepreneur, author and speaker based in Silicon Valley. He maintains another blog called Life Beyond Code and tweets as @UpbeatNow
Share