Posts Tagged ‘scarcity’

The roots of inflexibility

One of the hardest lessons of flexibility is letting go of the ego’s attachments. Pride prevents you from achieving flexibility, because it insists on being right, being first, or being better than others. It’s companions are alike, inflexible, stubborn, righteous, and condescending. These attitudes have ruled and ruined empires as well as personal relationships throughout history, and of course are equally evident today.

The ancient Greeks called it hubris (hybris), excessive ambition or pride leading to a fall, or to total ruin. In Asian tradition, pride is like the brittle stick which does not bend, but only breaks. The inflexibility of mind, also known as the hardening of the attitudes, is ultimately the cause of the problem. It is better to be flexible, like bamboo.

Unfortunately, pride can be deeply rooted, and actually leaves visible traces in your posture and bearing. In Japanese there are many expressions for the body language of pride and its many moods: high nose (hana ga takai), big attitude (taido ga dekai), bent mouth (kuchi ga he no ji), twisted navel (heso magari).

We must become the change we want to see. ~M. Gandhi

It takes discipline and awareness to restore the flexibility you had as a small child, to be simple and natural. And there is a faster way to flexibility, based on a Mandala Principle from Buddhism, the Principle of Gratitude (慈悲喜捨 Jihi Kisha).

This 4-character compound contains the keys to that principle.

慈 (Ji) Kindness, Love, Benevolence. Giving other people happiness or abundance.

悲 (Hi) Compassion, Mercy, Charity. Offering support, or a helping hand.

喜 (Ki) Celebration, Joy, Empathy. Feeling happy for other people’s happiness or success.

捨 (Sha) Giving, Releasing, Forgetting. Giving freely without strings attached.

These four attitudes, or four gratitudes, will quickly open your eyes and your heart to a deeper level of flexible focus. Instead of looking for things, you will see and notice them, as well as understand exactly how you can help people in each situation. As a reminder, you can download the Mandala of Gratitude, and start using it in your daily life.

There is no limit to how far you can take this. But even if you do not approach the depth of gratitude and awareness of Mohandas K. Gandhi or Mother Teresa, the very intention to shift your awareness toward gratitude can change your life. It will certainly improve the lives of the people around you.

A new model for coaching

While the term Jihi Kisha comes from Buddhism, the importance of gratitude and giving thanks is universal to all religions and even in secular life in all cultures. Even the master of human relations Dale Carnegie, author of the world’s bestselling classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People, said that the key to human relations was “to be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” For a great summary of other Dale Carnegie wisdom, visit My Choices, My Life.

Why not apply this to your own relationships, particularly those in which you are supporting or coaching another person, whether it be a family member or friend, or a coaching client?

While it may seem difficult to strive for high character ideals, the Mandala Chart gives you a structure and a tool that you can adjust and apply to your own situation. Using any of the PDF templates in this Flexible Focus series, or the Mandala Chart for iPad, you can start with eight key questions or points of focus, or you can create your own, and you will have a coaching tool with far more flexibility and functionality than a mere list of bullet points.

When you start doing this, one of the first things that you notice is that you are not the only one in trouble, and there are lots of ways that you can help other people, starting with those around you. The more you do this, the more good things come back to you, unless that was your reason for doing it in the first place. Give without strings attached. Give because we are all connected.

Lose the scarcity mentality and replace it with one of abundance, and make the world a better place. It all starts with you!

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Tagged as: abundance, active garage, benevolence, celebration, charity, coaching, compassion, empathy, Flexible Focus, forgetting, give first, giving, joy, kindness, love, mahatma gandhi, mandala, mandala charts, manga, mercy, mother teresa, pride, releasing, scarcity, the art of giving, william reed

The Abundance Mentality

Martin Buber (1878~1965), the Austrian-born Jewish philosopher who became famous for his work on the I-Thou relationship, wrote of a Hasidic story in which a seeker prayed that God would show him the difference between Heaven and Hell. His prayers were answered in his sleep, when God took him to a place with a room of starving people seated around a large round table, though the table was covered with a fabulous feast. Each of the people had long wooden spoons tied to their arms, which could reach the food, but the length of the spoons made it impossible to feed themselves. So they languished and starved in the face of abundance. This was Hell. Then God ushered him into another room with the same table, the same feast, and a group of people seated around it who also had long wooden spoons tied to their arms. However this group was happy and well-nourished, because they had learned to feed each other. This was Heaven, in the face of the same abundance.

This simple secret is missed or grasped on the strength of whether your mindset is one of giving in the grace of abundance, or one of taking on the assumption of scarcity. Even though it is also ultimately in their interest as well to take the wider view, they miss everything through their tunnel vision.

The assumption, or some would say the illusion of scarcity can drive people to mad behavior, like two dogs fighting over a single bone, when there is a whole plate of bones nearby.

The abundance mentality is a shift in mindset, a broader and more generous view. It is also the realization that you are not stuck with what you start with. Regular practice with the Mandala Chart gives you the ability to take any idea and quickly multiply it by eight to generate new ideas, applications, perspectives, or connections.

From Consumer to Creator

The assumption of scarcity causes people to hoard things, and fight to protect what little they have. The assumption of limited resources leads to the idea of give and take, bartering, trading, buying and selling, the economy as we know it. While this approach is functional, it tends to divide people into haves and have nots, and when the gap becomes too pronounced, it leads straight back to the scarcity mentality and conflict, if not revolution.

The assumption of abundance, when based on experience and not blind faith, produces an interesting transformation in people. Where once you may have been mostly a consumer, now you become mostly a creator. Instead of give and take, your mindset becomes more one of give and give.

Creating Value in Business

This new mentality changes the way you do business. Instead of seeing people as targets for your marketing campaign, or as prospects to be persuaded to purchase your goods and services, instead you see opportunities to help add value or improve the quality of their life and experience. Imagine how differently people would respond to you if every contact they had with you left them better served, better off than before.

Businesses which operate from an abundance mentality are automatically more attractive than businesses which are always trying to sell or take something from you. This applies equally to interruptive advertising and promotion, which distracts your attention and adds little value. Research has shown that repetitive advertising, even when it is annoying, can still be effective. However, this is more likely to apply to commodities, in which all things being equal, you are more likely to chose the brand that you have heard the most of. Unfortunately, this is also true in politics.

To be more creative in your business, multiply the number of ways that you serve, and magnify the quality of the way that you help people. Chasing after customers is like chasing butterflies, you trap a few, but most will fly away. The best way to attract butterflies is not to catch them at all, but to cultivate a garden to which they be naturally attracted. You need to move less, and attract more.

All of this manifests in very tangible ways, but it begins in the mind with a thought process. The seeds you plant and cultivate bear fruit, or becomes choked with weeds through neglect. I covered how you create a system for doing this in an article called, How Does Your Thought Garden Grow?

As a reminder of the themes to consider here, download a PDF Mandala Chart called MOVE LESS, ATTRACT MORE.

Your Mandala is your mirror. What do you see in it, a world of lack or a world of plenty?

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Tagged as: abundance, active garage, Flexible Focus, mandala, mandala charts, manga, mindset, move less attract more, scarcity, william reed