The Likability factor

by Himanshu Jhamb on August 3, 2009

ilikeyouI’m sure you’ve heard this many times: “The first impression is the last impression”. The good news is this is not entirely true; the bad news is its not entirely false, either. Though first impressions may not be the last impressions… they do matter and what really matters is what the other person is thinking after they just associated with you – Are they thinking “I didn’t like him” or “Hmmm…. I really liked him”? The difference in these two might seem trivial but it’s not. The difference is that one side of the coin opens possibilities for you and the other side does not… Perhaps even shuts them down in some cases… and the tricky part is that all this happens “Silently“. People usually do not make this assessment loudly in public. They usually show up in conversations where you are not present.

Here’s a little example of how this once worked for me. A friend of mine arranged for me to meet up with a friend of his, who was a powerful person, and I was going there to talk to him about enrolling him in my vision of what I was doing. The meeting went fine (though I was, admittedly, a little critical of myself at the end of it) and I did not hear back from the person I met for a while. Then, one day, my friend called me and asked me “Did you see the email from the person you met?” I said “No” and checked my mailbox. It was very much there and he had accepted my offer… so, then I asked my friend that it did not appear to me that the meeting went all that well – so how come he accepted? My friend’s response was “Well! He thought the meeting was alright but the reason he accepted to work with you is because he said he liked you!”

That got me thinking and a question came to my mind: How do you assess someone as likeable… or not?

What I have found is what’s important is how people leave me … that is, to say, if someone leaves me in a better mood that I was in, when I met them, I make the assessment that they are likable!

… and then I came up with a more powerful question, for myself: What thoughts and feelings do I leave people in; after my interactions with them?

I’ll leave you with a term, a few resources on how you can show up as more likable and a couple of questions on likability.

  • The Term: The term you can use to think further on this is the “Likability factor (LF)“. Incidentally, there’s a book titled “The likeability factor” by Tim Sanders. The concept is really simple: If your likability factor is high, you usually come across as a likeable person and if it’s low, then you don’t.
  • How to increase your Likability factor:

    1. A short video by Rajesh Setty, our very own deeply respected “Active” mentor at Active Garage:

    2. A short real-life example by notable author and speaker Robin Sharma.

    … and finally,

  • The questions to think about (answer these immediately after reading this post, to get the maximum benefit from having read this)
  • 1. What do you think is your likability factor?

    2. If you do not think its high enough, what are you going to do about it?

    Related Articles

    Previous post:

    Next post: